I generally plan early in the day how long my run will be and today I wanted to put in 5 miles. For some reason, I had a mental road block and at 1.5 miles I was ready to be done with the run. I however told myself to keep pushing, and by the time I got to 3 miles it was as though that mental block had been lifted and I was smooth sailing and enjoying my run. My mother always used to tell me when I was going through a difficult time to pray until something happened and to keep pushing. That something may not be what you want, but believe that it is what is best for you. So, whatever your circumstance is, keep pushing!
My life is a perfect example of God’s grace. Link to my story here. I made some unwise decisions and there are consequences to bad behavior, the Bible is very clear about that. But God is a loving and compassionate father who forgives and forgets our sins if we are repentant. Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins. David is my second favorite Bible character. Maybe because David’s life like mine was a portrait of failure and success, far from perfect. However, David’s heart was pointed towards God. He desired to follow God and had a deep trust in God despite the difficulties he faced. He was willing to follow God’s will thus ‘he was a man after God’s own heart.’
It took time for me to get to a place of healing and wholeness and I am a work in progress. I first had to acknowledge my past and forgive myself because God had forgiven me a long time ago but I was a prisoner of myself because I had not forgiven myself. For a long time shame chipped away at my soul slowly. Once I forgave myself, I had to learn to love myself as I was with all my scars and rebuild myself, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I knew without a whole total human makeover, I would not be able to be the woman that God wants me to be.
I am free and I can not imagine living in bondage again. I keep my mind focused on God and his graciousness, and time and time again I remind myself that I would be nothing without His grace. I have learnt to give God His rightful place in my life. My walk with Him gets sweeter and sweeter everyday. Like any relationship, if you want it to flourish you have to water and nurture it. Take the time daily to connect with Him.
How skillful the hands of the artist
Who painted this picture of me
He saw with the eyes of a master
How beautiful my life could be
Where once was a portrait of gloom and despair
This masterpiece hangs in it’s place
It’s signed with his blood and it’s framed with his glory
This beautiful picture of grace